Rewriting History: Bush style

Article 3 Geneva conventions--its ambiguous so I guess I'll put my mind to the problem and say...
1a.  Secret prisons...check
2a.  Use of <->torture</-> um..abusive interrogation okie dokie....check
   1.  Waterboarding....check
   2.  induced hypothermia....check
   3.  clearing brush at my Midland, TX ranch in July and August...check
   4.  forced to listen to my voice....check

Miranda-- its old, its outdated, hmmmm
"You have no rights, you must remain silent whilst we build the case against you, try you without jury or evidence, and convict and sentence you to death."  

Ah thats better.

Bill Of Rights-- too many loose ends
1.  You must believe as I believe and then, after signing an oath of fealty to the office of the president you may possess a firearm.

2.  There will be no freedom of press, no freedom of religion; however, media outlets who ABC (tie) themselves to state sponsored misinformation will be allowed to retain their media credentials.  Christianity is the religion of the New United States of America.  Muslims, Hindus, Bhuddists, and Jew may continue to practice their religion so long as it is practiced within the confines of their homes, they disavow ownership of Mosques, Temples, etc and refrain from the recruitment or conversion of new members.  Atheists shall find no aid and comfort and any state or entity who would harbor an atheist will be bombed forthwith.

3.  Husbands and wives are encouraged to indict one another if for the betterment of our Homeland.

4.  The Ten Commandments shall hold precedence over activist legislation.

5.  Individuals are not only encouraged to, but can be coerced, into incriminating themselves.

Fives enough, whew, thats some hard work right there but thank god I'm protecting the lives of all Americans by simplifying the people's right to choice.  How do you like these apples Mr. ACLU liberal guy, if it was up to you Iran would be the 50th state, er, 49th.

Its my job to protect.  Its hard, but I think I've made all the right decisions, and I stand by those decisions, decisions that make sense in that they protect Americans by limiting the non-lethal mistakes they can make.  

"But Mr. President, don't you think rewriting things like Miranda and the Bill of Rights oversteps Executive power?"

I know you think so but you can go on making hypotheticals but I say we need these changes for our country to have a chance at survival.  The terrorists man, those Islamofascists, they want to suicide bomb you then have a shot at your virgin daughter in the afterlife.  Don't you see that?  Can't you see?  Its unimaginable that Americans should think for themselves when it comes to whats best for them, whats best for keeping their family safe.  This government has spared no effort in trying to protect Americans from their own kindness.  Where some of you see potential friends this government sees potential enemies.  If only you knew what I knew, could see what I see, then you would all understand and its important for the American people to realize this.  By the by you just violated the New Second Amendment.  Boys take him away.  Next question please."

"Mr President, Tiny Blows, Fox News and  chief WH Propagandist...Um, may I just say, its about time we had a man of clarity in a position to enact meaningful legislation, legislation that will allow America to secure its borders from within and from those who want to harm us from abroad.  Bravo."

Why thank you Tiny, at least someone isn't confused and immoral.  God Bless you Blows.